Withdrawal symptoms.....

.......have well and truly taken hold! Luckily for some of us in a little over 3 weeks time we will be at it again! Colchester is now looming large, and all of sudden a little bit of panic has begun to set in. The week after Catterick, as much as I wanted to, I resisted the temptation to get my boots on, so that I could give my body the rest it probably needed. Three runs the following week and a couple of decent gym sessions, was abruptly brought to end by my stag do and a working week from hell that doesn't look like it's going to end until the 8th October, leaving me about 2 weeks to beast myself into shape again! My stag do last weekend was as you'd expect a crazy affair, full of laughs and hi-jinx and plenty of fun at my expense. However, the activities took their toll and come Monday evening, Man flu had well and truly taken hold, the result of a little dip in the River Wye, which to be fair the Bman had made abundantly clear it was going to happen, turns out he wasn't joking, it was fricking freezing. The activity was to build a raft and then race it on the river, we were split into two teams, the banter flowed, a lot quicker than we did on the river! The rafts stood up to the rigours of the tasks we were set and slighlty triumphant about a job well done, and in my own little world, basking in the stag do glow, my bestman decides to take advantage of the situation and dumps me in the drink! Luckily the drink that followed kept the cockles warm, but come Sunday the cockles begun to cool, and the body began to flag! I'm now in the state of having stag do, training and event withdrawal symptoms, so just to make myself feel better, I've decided to take the plunge and have a go at the Fan dance in January. Maybe I'm mad, it's a young mans game after all, and most men, that are on selection are considerably younger than I, but we've started something now, and although there might not be many takers from the rest of the boys for this event, I do know that, there is a lot of talk  about the Paras'10 2013, so to coin the most poignant and inspirational of phrases "Don't stop me now".................maybe attempting the Fan dance is foolhardy, but if nothing else good comes of losing Lloydy, he's given me the focus back that I had when I was young, that desire to push myself, to test myself and whilst I know that Pen Y Fan can be a very cruel mistress especially in the depths of winter, I know I have the most precious of angels looking after my back. I know I can't be complacent, god only knows I have nothing to prove to anyone, least of all Lloydy, but I know this is something I can do, to firstly continue to pay tribute to him, secondly to focus myself in later years to keep myself in shape, which isn't easy when you're effectively and old bstd, and thirdly to continue to try and make a small difference for those causes which we begun to support when we began our Paras'10 journey. Why am I doing this? Why do I need to do this? The simple answer is I don't, but I feel I have answered those questions, my brother was a big part of my life and the one person throughout my life I could always depend on, my best friend, the one person I looked up to. Now he's gone there are promises I made to him, that everyday I have to try and fulfill, so that when we are together again, I can look him in the eye and know that the years I had, I didn't waste, that I did the best I could to ensure all that is precious to him always remained precious to me, by doing that, as I've said before we keep his legacy burning bright. A man as wonderful as my brother should never be allowed to fade, what he stood for, the achievements he earnt, are a barometer for us all. I don't mean that we have to be 'Lloydy', that's been levied at me before, what I mean is, life is too short, it's for living and creating memories, doing good things that benefit others, not just yourselves, being selfless is possibly one of the single biggest pleasures in life and hopefully by continuing to put myself through these events, I get the benefit not just physically, but emotionally, because I know in some small way, we are making a little difference, and personally I can believe that my little brother is beside me when I need him most, because as he was in life, he is proud of what I and collectively the team are trying to achieve. The Paras'10 in Catterick was just the beginning..............

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

It's been emotional.........

Beyond the last blue mountain.....

30 days to go (no need to paniccccccccccccc)